I have five long ass research papers I can no longer organize my thoughts anymore

Well screw coherence.

1. I hate you Kant, you're a cunt.

2. If you think Earl is a philosophical jack ass, then what does that make me? Your words hurt me... Somehow

3. How do you cut friendship with a relative? Hi I miss you but we just can't be friends and  I'm sure you know why. I can never revoke my relative status with you it's destiny (or more like a plague, sometimes, at least) but friendship, on the other hand, has to be earned.

4. How am I supposed to present my gathered data and corresponding analysis to and IN your institution when YOUR NEW POLICY SUCKS??

5. No one's rebounding anyone okay so shut up keep calm and I loohhb you

6. VAPE IS A LIE. VAPE IS A LIE. YOU CAN NEVER QUIT

Sometimes I wonder what drug I'm secretly on. What is wrong with me and why does my mind work this way?

All The Things I Hate (A letter to my ugly soon-to-be-soldier ex)

All The Things I Hate (A letter to my ugly soon-to-be-soldier ex)

 …OOH YEAH TEENAGE ANGST!!!

I hate that you asked me to write you a goodbye letter. I find that very insulting—it’s as if you didn’t  know me at all. Of course I've already made you one (thousand… kidding) farewell notes. That’s what I do. That’s what I've been doing. That’s our dynamic: I’m the Noah who writes infinite cheesy bacon letters and you’re the Allie who always seems to find some sort of excuse to not respond. (Which reminds me of the time I forced you to watch The Notebook and I cried like I was in a funeral and your eyes remained so dry because you are a soul-less douchebag) I hate how I always loved you more. But it’s okay. I like it that way.

I also hate how in a few hours, I’m gonna be driven to your place for the last time. I hate how I haven’t been to your place and you haven’t been to mine since both screwed up. I hate how my parents want to skin you alive just because you fell out of love. I am a little prick and you had every right. I hate how I was an overacting gremlin and how my parents would use that against me every single time I’d tell them I’m with you. I hate that I’m gonna be picking your cat up and taking care of it for two years. I feel like Britney Spears and you’re K-Fed, both screwed up but still fighting for child custody. It’s weird. I hate it. I hate it so much. I remember when I surprised you with the sibling cats we shared. I love how you stayed for an extra seven months after that day I found out you were leaving, gave you a cat and  threw a psycho fit in my house. I hate that your extended stay came with an expiration date. I hate how that expiration date is today.

I hate how you might forget me. It scares me. I don’t care if you have ten million girlfriends in Korea, just make sure she doesn’t give you a cat. If she even makes the slightest attempt, walk away and leave. Cats are my thing. Catlove is our thing. Please don’t do any of our creepy sketchy activities with her. You can love as many girls as much as you want, but keep our own things sacred and locked up in a treasure box of good memories, please I beg. Ross Geller married thrice, but all of them were different. There was the lesbian, the Rachel and the Emily. All of them were special.

…but not as special as Rachel. May I be Rachel Greene?

I hate that you’d have to leave during moratorium week. I hate how my Spanish professor asked me to describe my best friend during orals, and that of all my best friends, I thought of you. I hate how your leaving still manages to penetrate my brain during the most crucial exams. I hate how I cannot concentrate with any of my acads because I’m either spending my last hours with you or just here at home smoking my worries away. I have so much worries. What if you die? What if Py wasn’t just being an asshole when he said that Korean soldiers play baseball with grenades? What if Korean Paul wasn’t just overreacting when he said you could end up stepping on a minefield? If you die, I will lose my best friend. If you die, Inigo will lose his only kuya. (I hate how I’m not allowed to read your palanca) If you die, Pupu will have nothing to look forward to. Might as well turn her into Siopao. Remember that ThoughtCatalog article I linked you? I’m not sure, I think it’s called “Love is Dead” and you said it reminded you of us. Do you remember how the guy died in the end after they broke up and lived far away from each other? What if that IS the story of us? Oh, no, see, I’m being an overacting gremlin again.

I hate how people think that if I really were over you, I’d have no right to be depressed over your whole army getaway. They don’t understand that before everything, we were really really really really great friends. I hate how our amazing connection (crazily) raised my standards for both friendships and relationships. You set a bar waaaay too high for anyone to rise above, or even to just simply reach. I don’t want you to get in the way of my new relationship. I don’t want to get in the way of your new relationship. I don’t want you to have a new relationship. I hate how I no longer want you BUT I STILL HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY.

I HATE HOW YOU’RE LEAVING IN A FEW HOURS AND I HATE HOW THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. I hate how I tried so hard to make you stay. I hate how I tried everything. I hate how I met you, I hate how  our friendship started, I hate how we fell in love, I hate how we fell out of love, I hate how you have to leave. I hate how I won’t see you for two years. I hate how I can never be sure if you’re dead or alive.

I hate how this is goodbye.

But I have no choice. It really is.

So, good bye.

…Oh wait did I mention… I HATE HOW YOU’RE A MANWHORE. (Manhur hhuhuhu byebye)

"Relationships are like farts. If it has to be forced, it's probably shit." -The Great Vitt Alampay

Ain't no lie baby bye bye bye bye bye

You’re leaving. You’re leaving and I’m not allowed to feel anything. You’re leaving and there’s nothing I can do to prevent your parting. You’re leaving and it’s not like you haven’t done it before but somehow I still can’t comprehend, I still can’t accept. I mean, leaving? What does that word even mean? You’re kidding, right?

You tried leaving before. And I gave you a cat and you stayed. But we both know that’s not really the reason you stayed. But it’s okay. Let’s pretend it was.

I gave you one cat and you stayed for seven more months so I just wonder if I give you ten cats now, would you stay for another 70 months? Math please save us.

What? No. Yes. Huh? Fuck.

This morning.

I was rummaging through my old bags, emptying the pockets so I could throw them away.

Then I found your vape. Your useless overpriced vape. Cooooool

Cool. My morning is crap now.

HI REMEMBER ME?

Di mo lang alam ako'y yong nasaktan

Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman

Hindi mo lang alam kay tagal na panahanon

Ako'y nandirito parin hanggang ngayon para sayo

Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya

Di parin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta

Kung ako'y nagkasala patawad na sana

Ang puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal

 

Me: Doc Jerry. Magqquit na ako ng yosi para sa prod na ito!

Doc Jerry: Tama yan!

....Too bad it was all just a dream. I miss prod. One more year, theater. Just one more year.